I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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