Where is the hickey?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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