Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize