Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
