Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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