ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
