please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
