listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
