Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
