I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
