At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
