I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
