so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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