I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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