You can't special order awesome
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
