hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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