oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
