i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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