If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
