We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
