So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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