Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He passed out mid-signature
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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