Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
