highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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