$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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