i think my tv is drunk
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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