Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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