even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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