hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
