Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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