I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
