So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
