i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
