hotel room ftw
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
