Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
