definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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