Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
