I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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