you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
