The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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