There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
