This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
