I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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