i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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