problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
