oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
