Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
