Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
