Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
