Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
