Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
