it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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