I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
