it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Is it penis luge time yet?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
where are my eyebrows?
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