I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
