I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
