u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize