Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
