evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
