Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
