I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
