dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
